THIS IS A TRUE STORY BASED ON MY DAILY BASIS.

well before i start on my story, i'll tell you what i did today.
i woke up real early to meet sarah again for this makeup shit thing, its part of a job i think. so just now we went for the course and i was the model. the latex sucks, i cant even tear it off my skin. when sarah got back her internet connection, i'll show the world how horrible and wicked was my face just now.
really. ugly.
ugly betty.
so random.
anyway, after that, me and sarah and the other two girls went to city hall to take more photos for sarah's assignment that due this friday. so instead of me being the model this time, sarah use the other two girls to help her out. i was really tired today. really damn fucking tired. my plan didn goes like what i wanted afterall. i really feel so sick in my butt and restless and really really tired.
good thing tmr im working, im gonna earn money to cover up the stuff that i bought online.
ive ordered VOLCOM CRUISE BY COZY HOODED PULLOVER SWEATSHIRT
and eS THEORY SKATE SHOE
and all this cost me 140 plus shipping. i sacrifice from buying a baju kurong just to wear these beautiful belonging of soon to be mine. so i needed to wait for 3 weeks for all these to arrive.
and i paid my bills full amount.
and i need to go bbdc real soon.
see farid and pass his vaseline and mcdonalds
meet cousin for awhile
buy food
buy mommy dessert
DAMN FUCKING TIRED SIA!
thats its for today's event.
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as i was saying based on my own true story. i realise that, at the age of 18 years old..its all about making "the" right decision. this is for real shit, i swear.
and in my case, i love contradicting stuff that i like or i want or whatever that make sense. which is very sad. i feel like im lying the crap out of myself. and seriously, these actions just simply slip thru my tounge. just like that, and those contradict words came out from nowhere. when i know, things are not exactly what i said. in other words, im saying the opposite things of what i felt deep in me.

basically, I'M IN DENIAL.
thats it.

and these actions, i cant help it. the things just happened and it hurts to think about it, cause im damn fucking lying to myself and the feeling is just suck.
ive think through about it and starting from now on, im gonna say the truth. im not gonna lie about my feelings just to make other people feel good or at a upper ground.

for instance, a friend ask " this hair looks good on me? dont you think?" and i shall reply, "no its not, its really ugly and really bad."

orr, a friend ask "so, do you like him?" and i shall reply, "yes, why? i aint lying."

or maybe, i shall asked my friend, "what are you playing at? do you like me or not?", maybe that friend will reply, "no, i dont like you as in, more as a friend." and then i shall reply, "oh, thats a waste. i really liked you tho."

IM GONNA BE TRUTHFUL FROM NOW ON.
basic idea of life - trust.

ask me anything. i'll give you the honest answer ever and it may shock the hell out of you.
go on.

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